he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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