What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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