This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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