dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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