Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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