So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
