i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i will never coherently bang her
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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