he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize