well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
