I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
