I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
