worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
