i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
