somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize