just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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