ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
