one two three fourrrrnication!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
