I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
