In the future we'll all be gay
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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