The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
