It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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