so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
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So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
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We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
They are going to name an STD after you.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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