Soap is not a condiment
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
