on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
