I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
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We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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