9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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