every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
