Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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