no. you can't hotbox the world.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
