What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
