just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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