so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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