D3 body, D1 cock
im about as happy as oj after his trial
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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