That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
