Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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