Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
