it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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