he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You're a waste of cheezeits
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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