im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
