The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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