I could have mohawked her pubes.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
