So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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