I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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