I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
