The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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