i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
