I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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