This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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