I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
