fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
