It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
