? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
