I think I am morally bankrupt
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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