did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
