So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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