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U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
